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May 19th, 2005

02:35 pm


my new user name.
every friend has been erased...so to be added again add that one

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May 15th, 2005

12:54 pm

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

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12:49 pm

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12:05 pm - Please help stop teen suicide

Ask the 25-year-old who tried to electricute himself. He lived. But both his arms are gone.

What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent, with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leapt from a building. Now, he's brain-damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But, worst of all, he KNOWS he used to be normal.

What about pills? Ask the 12-year-old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.

What about a gun? Ask the 24-year-old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide. You might too.

But... Who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning companies may refuse that job--but SOMEONE has to do it.

Who will have to cut you down from where you hung yourself or identify your bloated body after you've drowned? Your father? Your mother? Your wife? Your son?

The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is of no help. Those who loved you will NEVER completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain.

Suicide is contagious. Look around your family. Look closely at the 4 year old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself tonight, and he may do it ten years from now.

You DO have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call your minister or priest. Call a doctor or hospital. Call the police. They will tell you that there's hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a month, or a day away.

You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it? -Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later. And we'll work with whatever you have left.

Remember: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.


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11:00 am
When is it my turn?

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May 12th, 2005

03:58 pm
You were the honest friend
I was the great pretender
I hid my feelings till the end
Now I wanna say what it means to me
How I could never be the same without you

There are 24 days left of school.
I am constantly reminded
of how much i will miss you all
When ever someone says a funny joke-
or makes me laugh (over nothing at all)
I realize-
Next year...whats gonna happen?
No one there knows me like you all do.
No one there knows that i dont like when my food touches on my plate
No one there knows that sometimes if i am having a bad day-
I crave hugs from my friends.
No one knows that i like when my locker is super messy
and no one knows how that i like it when it rains.

How will i trust these strangers
with my secrets?
How will i ever form relationships with these people?

Does it seem wierd that i feel like i have the bestt friends?
Everysingle one of you- every single one
has helped me in some way-even if you didnt know it.
You all are the most amazing people i have ever met.
I think you have raised the bar in friendship to a new level.

All of you have made me who i am today.
And i dont want to leave you.

I love you all very much.
Dont count on this being that last entry about my departure to Prout...there will be more...

I must say i am sooo excited...
and really sad...

And i know i am still going to be in the same town
and all of you say
We will still hang out
and we will still talk...
But if i dont see you outside of school now
will i see you outside of school
Current Mood: exanimatei think the face is cool
Current Music: Vitamin C- Friends forever (I know cheesy)

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May 8th, 2005

06:47 pm - some things stolen from mirah
Favorite Things
(comment and i will add urs also)

crawling in the vent during the spy museum
jean. <333.
sleeping with dom and mirah. hahahaha
the note that mirah wrote to "mr hilton"....
the funny street performers
the plane ride (surprisingly due to my complete fear of them.)
the washington monument.
Jefferson memorial
the guy that we thought was a police officer
conversations w.
the dance
jimmy crown surfing
listening to music on bus/plane
buying the a.f magazine
ww2 monument at night
bus rides

will add mannnyy moree

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11:48 am - Washington D.c
I must say that washington was probly one of the best experiances i have ever had...
im soo sad its over.

it was unbelievable how much fun we hadd...

ill post more later w. specifics

Washington People- post a memory of washington


My memories of washington

Plane ride home (suuucchhh bad turbulance)
Sleeping in mirah and dominiques room on sat.
My roomates were the besstttt

morrrree later
Current Mood: crappyitsss ovver! :(

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May 2nd, 2005

01:42 pm - I cried...infront of everyone.
i had just about the worst day. i cried infront of everyone on the bus. i cried my eyes out. i am so thankful for my friends who were there holding my hand and hugging me. i was sooo upset. i liked science because my friends are awesome and i laughed just about that whole class. but everytime i got into the hall way-i started to cry. on the way home- i cried. i cried. the first time i can really remeber letting people see how upset i was. all i can say is im scared...im really scared. but its happened before and everything seemed ok i guess. Why cant people decide what they want to do with out having other people deciding it for them?

Leave something to cheer me up...
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: Vannessa Carlton

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May 1st, 2005

09:44 am - Another Survey *you know you love them! hehe*
stolen from rachels!

( ) smoked a cigar
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
( ) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your myspace friends
( ) been to Canada
(x) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane *dies*
() seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
() thrown up in a bar
() purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
(x) been snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from the internet
( ) been moshing at a concert
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
( ) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
( ) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
( ) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls when you were younger
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey (*WTF?*
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge *the one in narg. where you can jump into the water from lol*
(x) screamed penis in public
( ) ate dog/cat food ((the bisicut treats count?))
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
( ) had a dream that you married someone
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 4 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies
(x) believe in ghosts
(x) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
(x) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) played chicken
(x) pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger *the guy at seven eleven lol...creepy no?*
(x) broken a bone *do you have to ask?*
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
( ) cheated on a test
(x) had a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name?
( ) slept naked
(x) French braided someone's hair
( ) grown a beard

thats all for now
exes and hoes bitches!

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